May 15, 2009

Posted by in Uncategorized | Comments Off on i used to complain about having no shoes until I met a man …….

i used to complain about having no shoes until I met a man …….

The universe works in mysterious ways.  On Monday morning I woke up after a pretty fitful night with some very lucid and unsettling dreams.  I turned to Dorry in bed and said, “Something bad is going to happen today.”  I had only felt that way once after a night’s sleep and that was on the morning of September 11.

Later that day I heard that Gabe Goreham, the 19 year old son of our friend Niika, had been in a motorcycle accident and had lost both his legs.  The links to the incident as reported in the news are set forth below.


It’s no secret that one of my challenges with MS is being present to the fact that I am slowly losing my ability to walk.  It seems ironic that I now have someone in my life who if he is lucky will have a chance to learn to walk all over again and that will be viewed as a good thing.  It has raised some weird emotions for me.  I guess at some point Gabe and I will have chance to discuss the difference between losing something immediately and having it stripped away from you slowly.  They are really just variations of being dealt a shitty hand.  I wasn’t really present to my own time clock until i went to visit Gabe.  

The thing that struck me when I went to visit him in the ICU at the hospital on Wednesday, just a little more than 24 hours after he came out of surgery, was how present he was.  He recognized me, he had a game face on for his guests and he could both relate the details of the accident and was fully aware of the fact that he lost his legs.  I know the pahse of putting on a brave face and I suspect the waves of grief that will hit him will hit hard and often.  my hope is it is somehow different for a 19 year old.

The resiliency of the human body and the power of this kid’s spirit and will are just amazing.  He shared often that he was just happy to be alive.  I was amazed that he could actually recount every moment of the accident and what happened afterwards.  The whole thing was pretty incredible.  Were it not for the fact that sitting in a car at the intersection at the time of the accident was 40 year old who had extensive  EMT experience, and who had the presence of mind  to get a makeshift tourniquet on his severed leg, Gabe would have bleed to death.  So what do you do when you get a second chance at living a purposeful life?  I hope i can help Gabe get there.  What it has triggered for me is my clock is ticking.  I need to be vigilante about taking care of myself and doing what I can and want to do now because there are just no guarantees.

Here is a link to the web page to funnel support to Gabe and his family in the months and years to come.

   Be generous.




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